Week two has come to an end and well, losing weight is not going as good as I hoped. It is discouraging sometimes. I lost only one more pound and that is not what I want.
I think more than the weight though I need to become healthier mentally. Mental health and love of self is more important than losing weight. However my weight is one of the reasons I hate myself. It is such a quandary.
So as I reflect, I think of how I get to a place in my life where I am happy with myself again. I don't tolerate other people's judgement regarding appearance, I love people for their inner beauty yet I can't see beyond my outer appearance to get to my inner beauty. That is where I really need to get healthy.
A friend of mine and I were talking the other day about how we would not be with a man who did not love us while we are over weight but yet loved us once we lost weight. I am the same person either way. The more I think of that, the more I think that I am the same inside but yet maybe I am not. The one way that I am not the same person is that I do not like myself nor do I have any confidence because my appearance disgusts me.
I actually walk by a mirror and want to cry. It is not just my weight, it is everything. My wrinkles, my grey hair and well my face. All of me makes me sad. I see ugly and that is what I need to get past because I know that I am a caring and loving person. Inside I am not ugly.
I used to see ugly in the mirror but when I looked at pictures I saw that there was outer beauty to me, That was a time when I had more confidence in myself. But the last year or so all I can see is the ugly. So, that said I need to get past that and find the beauty in myself that I know some people see. That beauty might come from getting back to a more comfortable weight and in the end yes I am the same person inside, heavy or thin. The difference however is how I view myself and the person that I see.
My goal now is not only losing pounds to find a healthier weight but to become healthier mentally too.
good thinking! your mind set is all important when you are aiming for a healthier life. I do the 5:2 intermittent diet which is actually more of a lifestyle choice than a diet and it works for me. good luck.
ReplyDeleteHi Ann, I agree, our mind set is what is most important.
DeleteHow are you doing with eating healthier and loosing weight?
ReplyDeleteJust wondering how are you holding up? I know I do not like what I see in the mirror. As that is the image I see of myself. I am getting older. Greying and white hair, wrinkles, saggy skin and extra pounds shift to where I never had them before.
DeleteHi Sandy, I am going to add a new post to this blog soon...
DeleteHi Sandy, I have not been on this blog for a while but need to get back here. I have been doing ok. Losing about a pound a week...not great but better than gaining. I will write on this blog soon.
ReplyDelete