Week Two Ends With Reflections

Week two has come to an end and well, losing weight is not going as good as I hoped. It is discouraging sometimes. I lost only one more pound and that is not what I want.

I think more than the weight though I need to become healthier mentally. Mental health and love of self is more important than losing weight. However my weight is one of the reasons I hate myself. It is such a quandary.

So as I reflect, I think of how I get  to a place in my life where I am happy with myself again. I don't tolerate other people's judgement regarding appearance, I love people for their inner beauty yet I can't see beyond my outer appearance to get to my inner beauty. That is where I really need to get healthy.

A friend of mine and I were talking the other day about how we would not be with a man who did not love us while we are over weight but yet loved us once we lost weight. I am the same person either way. The more I think of that, the more I think that I am the same inside but yet maybe I am not. The one way that I am not the same person is that I do not like myself nor do I have any confidence because my appearance disgusts me.

I actually walk by a mirror and want to cry. It is not just my weight, it is everything. My wrinkles, my grey hair and well my face. All of me makes me sad. I see ugly and that is what I need to get past because I know that I am a caring and loving person. Inside I am not ugly.

I used to see ugly in the mirror but when I looked at pictures I saw that there was outer beauty to me, That was a time when I had more confidence in myself. But the last year or so all I can see is the ugly. So, that said I need to get past that and find the beauty in myself that I know some people see. That beauty might come from getting back to a more comfortable weight and in the end yes I am the same person inside, heavy or thin. The difference however is how I view myself and the person that I see.

My goal now is not only losing pounds to find a healthier weight but to become healthier mentally too.

Week One Has Come to an End

Well my first week of eating healthier and trying to drop some weight is done. I feel like I was starved some of the time while others I felt satisfied. The end result though has been one whole pound lost. I am very disappointed in those results.

So that said I plan to really step it up this week. I will start using my wii fit and begin really cutting down more on food. I cut down to below 1000 calories most days but think maybe I have not been drinking enough water either.

I hope that my next report brings better results than one tiny little pound.

Day 2:Great Strides!

Today I did great, I stayed under 1000 calories! I am very proud of myself. I was thinking that it might be better to update every week because well, there isn't much to say every day except I did great, I feel proud of myself and I am starving ha ha.

I know once my stomach shrinks I will not be as hungry and will be used to less food. This first week though is hard.

I did not exercise yet because well, no time. I will soon get on the ball.

Off to bed I go.

Day 1

Well today was day 1 of getting healthy. I did good and did not eat junk food. Well, I did have a few chips but hey, if I don't have a few I will have a lot one day and blow everything.

I avoided sweets, my sugary sweet was a mandarin orange. They are sweet/tangy and delicious. I also had a few chocolate covered Acai berries but only a few.

My calorie count stayed under 1000 so I think I did a great job today.

My lunch if made for work tomorrow so I won't have much room for error.

I did not exercise today because my head has been hurting but hopefully tomorrow it will feel better so I can begin exercising too. I'm not too worried about that end of it all yet. I want to shrink my stomach right now most of all.

I will report in tomorrow too. I am not saying what I weigh though. I am a female and that is just not what we do.